My biggest fear going into this experience is being accepted by the children at the school and orphanage in Tanzania. The
moment our tuk-tuk pulled up to CPO, the Cambodian orphanage, there was an instant connection between the volunteers and the students. My first step, there was a hand interlocked with mine and another child’s arms wrapped around my waist. It was amazing how the children didn’t know us by any means, let alone hadn’t even learned our names, and yet they could be so open to us. My fear going to Tanzania is that the children there may not be that way. I’m afraid that the children may be shy or may not open up to us as quickly. Of course, I can get over my fear and I am already beginning. All I need to do is think on the bright side, maybe they are as accepting, and if they’re not, I just have to get to know them. It’s not an impossible fear, and I’ll be ready to overcome the challenge, because I know that in the end, I will be so much more grateful for connecting with them sooner than later.
For me, the most difficult thing will be going into the trip knowing that I will have to leave the children, and then actually leaving them. There is no emotion more powerful than love, and when broken, it’s heart shattering. I know that leaving the children in Cambodia was the hardest thing I had ever had to do. Knowing that I'll have to do it again
is harder. My goal is to improve those children's lives and make a connection, and if I am to reach my goal, leaving that connection is going to be painful. The thought that I’ll become close, then have to leave, and may never come back, is a knife to the stomach in itself. Having a past experience, I know the pain thats coming, but nothing can prepare you for such a thing.
This trip I will change in ways that will have me looking at my home life in a much more grateful way. Seeing how these children live, their homes and meals and activities, really opens up your eyes. People
always say be grateful for what you have because there are so many people who have so much less than you. I never really thought about it as much as I did when I actually experienced it first hand. These children who have so much less and yet they are so much more grateful for what they have rather than wanting more. It's really amazing and just shows that the kids who want everything and anything are so very ungrateful. When I come home, I believe that I will change my outlook on what I have and how it compares to everything the children have in Tanzania.
